Atari
by A. Minerva
Summary: Rory and Jess, kind of AU, 4th season. Probably a oneparter unless I get inspired... PLEASE R&R!


The day after her 18th birthday. Lorelai had convinced Richard and Emily to let Rory have her party at home this time, but they still had a dinner together the next day. She had received numerous gifts from her grandparents, one of which was wrapped and presented to her before dinner. She had opened the gift in her grandparents parlor, when they had given it to her. It was a CD, she could tell from the shape, the size. From across the room, her mother had mouthed, We'll return it.  
  
She's opened it. The Ataris. Heard them on the radio, that overplayed Boys of Summer' song, but nevertheless, she was polite, hugged her grandparents tightly, thanked them.  
  
In the car ride on the way back, she had examined the cover. A picture of a tower falling down. She knew the type of music, knew it wasn't her style, but she still, for some reason, wanted to listen to it.  
  
Back in her room, she peeled off the plastic that they put on just to make you angry, or so she had always thought. She began to play the CD, not too bad, she decided, but still not her style. She tried to do other things, not think about birthdays. One thing she hated now was having to remember what she did this time last year: how Jess had told her one day in the diner, this day exactly a year ago, that his birthday was in two days. That he was going home, and that this was his last day in Stars Hollow before then. They had talked for a long time, and that night, Rory had finally come to consider Jess as her friend. Not just someone she knew, but as a friend.  
  
After a while of listening to the CD, she decided to get up and turn it off, but just as she was reaching for the stop button, she heard acoustic guitar chords. Piano. It was pretty. She listened. She couldn't move. Frozen.  
  


*****  
  


He was in his dad's house, as usual. Lily came into his room, hid something behind her back, and then presented it to him.  
  
What's this?  
  
For your birthday.  
  
He didn't bother reminding her that his birthday was in two days. He just opened it. It was a CD. Thanks Lil! He said enthieusiatically, even though the CD was the Ataris. Mellow for his taste.  
  
Put it on! she said.  
  
All right, he responded. He put it in his CD player, and Lily skipped forward to the last song. Acoustic guitar. _Very _mellow. Rory would have mocked him. This one's my favorite, she declared.  
  


*****  


  
_Only two more days  
Until your birthday  
Yesterday was mine.  
  
_Huh? It was as if the song was speaking directly to her, listening to her thoughts, repeating them in the lyrics of the song. She listened more.  
  
_I know what it's like  
Growing up without your father in your life.  
  
_She couldn't believe it. She couldn't breathe. How many times had she wanted to say the same words to Jess? Empathyzing with him. Letting him know that it was OK. She understood. She knew why he had to leave...  
  


*****  
  


_So I pretend  
I'm doing all I can  
And I hope some day you'll find it in your heart  
To understand   
Why I'm not around   
And forgive me for not being in your life.  
  
_He was almost frustrated that these over-hyped pop musicians could express the same sentiments that he'd tried so many times to write in a letter to Rory. He needed her to understand why he'd left. Could she? Would she?  
  
And he was pretending. He was pretending to himself that he didn't care. Hell, that wasn't new. He'd been pretending for as long as he could remember.  
  


*****  
  


_I remember waiting for you to come   
Remember waiting for you to call   
Waiting there to find nothing at all.  
  
_These lines brought back distinct memories of right after Jess left. She had waited. At the bridge, at her house, not daring to go to Luke's so that she could affirm what she already knew: that he was gone.  
  


*****  
  


_Maybe some day  
You'll really get to know me...  
  
_Maybe she would. Maybe someday he'd actually show up in Stars Hollow. Try to let her in, as he'd wanted to do so may times before but never found the courage, never found the strength to do. He'd never been able to let down his guard... even for her...  
  
_I pray I get the chance  
To make it up to you  
We've got a lot of catching up to do...  
  
_

*****  
  


_We've got a lot of catching up to do...  
  
_They did. Maybe someday... like the song said, maybe he'd come back. Maybe they'd be able to catch up. Maybe they could go back to being the way they had been. She wiped away the tears. Who was she kidding? He probably never even thought of her anymore.  
  
  
**A/N: Hey alll! Let me know what you think. OK, so I know that at the tops of all of my stories, I say that I don't care if I get reviews, but I realized this week after I updated ALL of my stories with new chapters and got NO reviews that I CRAVE reviews. I NEED to know what you guys think or else I can't go on. So PLEASE... if you want... click on my name and read some of my other stuff... let me know what you think so I don't die from deprivation of feedback.  
  
Oh, and feedback on this story wouldn't kill me either ;)**


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